Opinion: I Ain’t One Of Them Lucky Folks


August 11, 2014 - Pasadenoids

By Joseph Thomas, Sierra Madre

My papa used to say, “Or you got luck. Or you don’t.” Well, let me tell you, some people got luck. Like Jerry. You know Jerry? The other day he bought a lottery ticket and won – get this – $800. Yeah, Jerry with no legs. Yeah, Jerry No Legs. Second time in three years. Fuckin’ blessed. Let me tell you.

Reminds of my cousin, Amy Fusinella. Have you heard this one? She falls madly in love with some douche from the other side of town. He spoils her for seven months – I’m talking trips to Fresno, red wine, three scoop sundaes, the works -, the asshole proposes, ships off to Iraq, gets blown to pieces, and she receives – wait for it – $12,000. It’s like the stars are just throwing shit at her.

Or my grandpa. He’s a member of what I like to call it the Luckiest Generation. Grows up poor as dirt. He’s so poor that when the economy falls over he doesn’t even know. So the economy’s all smashed and he finds out that the government is giving out jobs. He takes one of those jobs, uses it to go to college, gets an engineering degree, starts a business and sells it for – you don’t want to know, but I’m gonna tell you – 450 grand. Christ. God loves some people more than others – I mean, that’s the only explanation I’ve got because it ain’t like he earned it.

Anyway, I’m not one of those lucky folks. You won’t find a lick of luck in me. I’m just a regular working joe with a house and a car living in America like the rest of them.

› tags: life / senility /