11-Year-Old Walking Across America To Prove He’s A Cocky Little Shit

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March 3, 2017 - Local

By Jim Daniels, Altadena. 

An eleven-year-old boy from Tucson, Arizona in on a mission to walk across the country. Why? He says it’s for Crohn’s disease awareness. But we all know it’s actually because he’s a cocky little shit who wants to prove he’s better than everyone else.

I mean, let’s be honest. If you really wanted to help fight Crohn’s disease, you would do a legitimate fundraiser. Or go to medical school. What the fuck is walking across the country going to do? Prove to everyone you like Forrest Gump?

It’s plain to see this stunt is nothing more than a pathetic and depserate ploy for attention by a coddled child. What’s wrong, Billy? Didn’t make the baseball team? Too stupid for science club? Why not walk across the country to get a bunch of Facebook likes and pretend you care about disease? What a great plan!

Go ahead and put that on your resume you little twerp. “Oh, when I was just a boy I was so passionate about Crohn’s awareness…” Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m sure Princeton admissions will see right through that shit. I hope you get rejected.

Some will point out it’s probably the kid’s parents making him do this. So fucking what? Grow a pair and run away from home if your parents are insincere attention-starved losers. Don’t make it the problem of every decent person who just wants to go on Facebook without barfing all over their computer.

God I hate you Billy. I hope you get Crohn’s disease. You deserve it you little shit. You probably don’t even know what it is. That would make it even better. I hope you get the disease and it hurts so bad you pass out on a service road in Louisiana. Then you can say you failed at your stupid little project and we can all go back to living our lives. We wouldn’t have to pay attention to your stupid little publicity stunts anymore. Wouldn’t that be something, Billy?

› tags: exercise / little shits / walking /